Why Can't I?
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: Set three years before Final Destination, tells about Clear's arrival in Mt. Abraham and how she falls in love with Alex. Completed!
1. Why Can't I?

Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me   
  
A/N: Okay, so I guess I have a problem, that being that I only want to write "Final Destination" fics; those are the ones I've been getting the most reviews for, so why look the gift horse in the mouth right? Well, since I've been writing mainly about Kimberly, I figured I'd write a story with Clear and the other 180 survivors; everyone now thinks that I like Kimberly better then Clear which is not true (though I do like A.J. Cook better then Ali Larter, sorry everyone) So, on with this fic, please review and enjoy.   
  
The title comes from the Liz Phair song "Why Can't I" and you'll get the title if you know the song...if not, sorry (but you should, it's a great song.) The chorus goes with Clear's feelings in this story.   
  
Another Note: It takes place three years before the actual movie; I know Clear says that in four years of high school she and Alex never said "one word to each other" but let's hope she was exaggerating slightly.   
  
"Why Can't I?"  
  
Clear Rivers shifted slightly in the hard plastic seat she was sitting in, keeping her eyes on the wispy, fifty something woman that flittered around in front of her, obviously on her own agenda. The secretary of Abraham High School appeared not to notice her sitting there, even though she had the brunette's class schedule in her wrinkly hands, tossed together with a few other papers.   
  
It was the first day of high school and already Clear was having a horrible day, though it wasn't truly a day yet, only a morning. First period was happening out the walls of the small secretary office and she was sure that no one noticed that she wasn't a part of the high school life yet, not that she minded. She was used to never getting noticed and ever the optimist, Clear had already prepared herself to go through all four years at Mt. Abraham with the fewest glances possible from her peers. And so far, that expectation had proved to be true, since the secretary wasn't even bothering with her at the moment.   
  
Clear knew she should make allowances for the woman's scatter-brain attitude, since she surely had to deal with more then her messed up schedule but that didn't mean she had to appreciate it. Teachers and those that worked along side them were paid to noticed students and she had gotten used to them being the people that actually did notice her.   
  
As though reading her private thoughts, the woman (Mrs. Collins, her nameplate read) turned to face the brunette, who instantly sat up straighter, trying to ask as though she wasn't impatient, knowing that authority hated it when teenagers acted impatient.   
  
"Now, Miss Rivers, what exactly is the problem?" Mrs. Collins already sounded exasperated and that was the first thing she had said to Clear aside from "just one minute," before directing her to the seat she was now sitting in. She shuffled through the papers in her hand until she pulled out Clear's now rumbled schedule, looking it over. "It looks fine to me."   
  
Clear nodded slowly, though she wasn't agreeing with the woman; she wanted to choose her words slowly, since she was at a new school and all. No need to get on the secretary's bad side the first day. "Well, it is except for one thing: I'm signed up for French...I don't speak French..." She trailed off, hoping Mrs. Collins would understand the problem.   
  
She, however, had no such luck.   
  
Mrs. Collins pursed her lips, glaring at the brunette over her large glasses before glancing down at the paper once again. "What's wrong with French? Look...I have a lot to do today but maybe if you come back next week we can see about this French thing." Her words weren't a request, they were a command. The woman handed Clear back her schedule, the signal that the discussion was closed.   
  
Clear, however, wasn't happy with the way the conversation had gone and she was going to let Mrs. Collins know it. "Next week?" She repeated, letting her impatience show finally. She had been sitting in the office for half an hour, watching the woman go about her secretarial duties and send the trouble-making students ahead into the principal's office, only to be told that she would have to wait until next week. "But I don't want to sit in French for a whole week; look, I signed up for Spanish and I'm not in Spanish and it's your job to make sure that I am." She finished her sentence by handing the paper back to the woman, who looked slightly surprised.   
  
Truthfully, Clear hadn't know where the outburst had come from, perhaps it was the stress of the first day of high school, on top of finally being officially handed over to her grandparents and shipped out to New York. Her mother had been trying to pass custody to someone else for five years and her grandparents had finally agreed to take her in; Clear had known the day was long time coming, the order of her step-father but she hadn't been happy about the move. Now she was in an unfamiliar school, surrounded by unfamiliar people with a messed up schedule; she figured there was only so much a person could take.   
  
"Well, I'll do what I can, but you're going to have to wait a while longer." Mrs. Collins said finally, lips pressed into a skinny line as she glared at the brunette. Without another word, she took the schedule and disappeared into another room, shutting the door behind her.   
  
With a sigh, Clear leaned against the wall behind her, crossing her arms across her stomach and staring skyward. Within five minutes, the door opened again and the secretary reappeared, about to say something else when the main door opened and a man who appeared to be Clear's age strolled in, a smirk on his face and who Clear assumed to be the principal following after him.   
  
The principal muttered something to Mrs. Collins before shoving the man ahead of him, mumbling, "Well, Mr. Horton, it's not a shock to see you in here, already." The last word he put extra emphasis on, causing Clear to get the impression that "Mr. Horton" was the typical trouble-making teen in a lettermen jacket. She had seen them at her old school and had been the object of many of their torments, and so she mentally reminded herself to stay away from those in Mt. Abraham.   
  
The door was about to close once more but another teenage boy stepped in before it could shut, looking much more soft-spoken then the one before him. Clear gazed at him and instantly, she knew she was in love, her breath catching in her throat and her heart pounding in her chest. He looked unlike any boy that she had ever encountered at her first school, with sparkling blue eyes, sandy brown hair and slight dimples.   
  
He didn't even glance at her as he walked up to Mrs. Collins' desk, holding his schedule before him, an explanation on his lips. The woman held up a hand, silencing him before he could begin. "Have a seat, I'll be with you in a second." And with those words she disappeared once more, leaving the two teenagers alone.   
  
Clear exhaled and hoped that she would appear like an idiot and the mystery boy's eyes but he still hadn't even glanced her way. He tossed his backpack to the floor and sat down in the chair beside her, finally looking over at her. He looked her over once with his blue eyes and she could tell that he was trying to place her and (disappointingly) not checking her out. Finally he said, "I haven't seen you before, are you new?"   
  
She managed to nod, figuring that in a small town like Mt. Abraham, the only thing different about changing grades was the school name, and that everyone had surely known each other since kindergarten. "Yes, I just moved here." That much was obvious and as soon as she spoke, Clear felt like an idiot.   
  
"Cool." He muttered, though the look on his face didn't convey that he really cared too much. "I'm Alex." He held his hand on to her and she quickly took his, praying that the heat she felt in her cheeks didn't show on the surface.   
  
Before she could introduce herself, Mrs. Collins appeared, holding out Clear's rumbled schedule. "Okay Miss Rivers, you can have Spanish second period, if that's quiet all right with you." Her words carried a sarcastic tone and Clear knew that she had already started off on the wrong foot with the faculty.   
  
She mumbled a thank as she took the schedule, unwilling to leave Alex behind just yet. Mrs. Collins then went to address him and he quickly explained to her that he had a problem opposite to Clear's: he had Spanish instead of French.   
  
Headed toward the door, Clear paused, turning around, wondering if she could possibly used the situation to her advantage. "Well, Mr. Browning, I can put you in French during fourth, there are a few openings." Mrs. Collins was saying and instantly, Clear glanced down at her old schedule, seeing that she had had French fourth.   
  
"Um, Mrs. Collins, I changed my mind." She practically shouted as Alex said his thank-yous. "I think I'll take French after all." As soon as she spoke, she felt embarrassed, the color in her cheeks defiantly showing this time. Both Alex and the secretary glanced over at her, a frown on the old woman's face, a look of confusion on his.   
  
Mrs. Collins sighed, deciding it would better simply to surrender then the put up a fight; she was, after all, already signed up for the class. "Miss Rivers...that's fine...I'm through with you, get out of here." The words weren't meant to be completely cruel but that was how the brunette took them, frowning and slinking out the room, head bowed.   
  
She was headed down the empty hallway, intent on finding her first period, when she felt someone tap on her shoulder. Clear turned, surprised to see Alex standing beside her, a half smile on his delicate features. "Don't let Mrs. Collins get to you, she's just under a lot of stress right now, this being the first day." He told her before she could say anything to him, causing the color to return in her cheeks for the second time in as many minutes.   
  
"R-right, right." She could think of nothing else to say other then that simple word and wished that more would come out. As soon as she looked at Alex's radiant smile, every thought disappeared from her skull.   
  
Alex didn't seem to notice and started walking, taking the pace Clear had walked at seconds earlier, a silent command for her to follow him down the hallway. "So, where did you move from?" He asked as she stepped beside him, glaring down at her schedule in hopes of keeping herself from saying or doing anything else stupid.   
  
"Connecticut." Clear managed to tell him, staring so hard that the words had begun to blur. She switched to the floor, watching her feet and his move together. "I live with my grandparents now." She hadn't meant to say so much but the words simply tumbled out.   
  
Alex just nodded, deciding it was wise not to say anything more; they walked in silence for a few more seconds, Clear letting him lead her far from her destination and not really caring. Finally, Alex stopped and stood before a classroom door, causing the brunette to look up at his face. "Well, this is my class, I guess I'll see you in French class uh..." He trailed off, waiting for her to supply a name.   
  
"Clear...Rivers." She almost didn't add her last name, knowing that every time she did a teasing, no matter how innocent, would soon follow. But when she told Alex, she felt as though there was something different about him, something perfect, that would make him overlook her parent's cruelty and just bid her goodbye. He was, after all, perfect in every way so far.   
  
A smile spread across his face and he said, "Your name is Clear Rivers? Your parents actually named you Clear Rivers?" His words were proceeded with slight laughter as he rose his hand in a silent goodbye, slipping into the classroom.   
  
Clear frowned, staring at the brown door in front of her, a frown on her face. Well...maybe not perfect.   
  
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So, I can't figure out if I want to continue or just leave it like this. And, I know Clear doesn't exactly act like this in the movie but in this story, she's fourteen and I know how fourteen year old girls act when they see a cute boy. A lot could have happened in those three years too...so...don't tell me that it's not like her. Thanks for reading it, please review! (Tell me if I should continue) 


	2. The Language of Love

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Wow, thanks for the reviews so, I guess I'll continue, since only one person wanted me to leave it like it is. I do know what Clear said in the movie (I've seen it a hundred times and know it by heart) but the great thing about fanfics are being able to tweak the movies a little. I won't go into anything major (like them dating) but I might as well continue. So, back by popular demand: here is the second chapter.   
  
Chapter Two   
  
The Language of Love   
  
The next chance Clear got to see her beloved Alex was the second she walked into her fourth period, eyes already roaming the room for his beautiful face. He was sitting in the back of the room, laughing with a boy that appeared to be his age, and (much to her disappointment) didn't even look up when she entered. Clear let her eyes leave his face for a moment to look at the others around her and saw the dark-haired jock that had been escorted into the principal's office earlier that day; he was surrounded by a large group of people, most of which were wearing matching letterman's jackets. A bubbly blonde was sitting next to him, hanging on his every word and fawning over him, suggestively batting her eyelashes whenever he looked her way. Seeing couples like that always made Clear roll her eyes and this time was no exception and she was glad when she noticed the teacher in the back of the room, looking as though he was trying his best to believe he was elsewhere.   
  
The brunette kept her eyes on Alex as she walked over to the white-haired man's desk, pulling her schedule out of her pocket and trying to straighten it. The man didn't even look up when she stood beside him, shifting uncomfortably and trying to decide whether or not she should verbally get his attention.   
  
"Um...excuse me..." Clear tried, clearing her throat as well, causing the man to look her way. He seemed startled by her presence but quickly pushed those feelings aside, attempting to force a smile but it only managed to come out as a frown.  
  
"What can I do for you miss?" He questioned, a hint of a French accent flowing in among his words.   
  
Clear handed him her schedule, which he didn't even bother to glance out. "I'm new here and..." She began to explain but his words cut her off before she had a chance to so anything more.   
  
"It's the first day of school, everyone is new; there's a seating chart in the front of the room." He told her and with that, tossed the paper back to her and went back to pretending that he was somewhere far from the noisy room and it's boisterous students.   
  
Clear nodded silently, put the schedule back into her jacket pocket and walked up to the whiteboard directly in front of her, noticing a sheet of paper hanging lazily by a piece of tape. Without a glance to those around her (except one or two in Alex's direction) she scanned the row of students and felt her heart skip and beat, then stop beating all together when she saw that she was seated directly behind Alex.   
  
It was all she could do to keep from skipping over to her desk, never more grateful to be in school then she was at that moment. Alex didn't even pause in his conversation to glance at her when she sat down, which was a slight disappointment but Clear knew that things could only get better from here on. After all, he had already talked to her and knew her name, which, granted, he had made fun of but so did everyone so she knew that she couldn't hold such things against him.   
  
Trying to appear inconspicuous, Clear began to dug through her backpack for something that she would never find, only so she could listen to Alex's wonderful voice without looking as though that's what she was looking. He and his friend, were busily discussing their plans for the weekend, as well as recounting all childhood tales that didn't interest her as much as their weekend plans.   
  
Before Clear had a chance to hear any more, the teacher left his desk and stood at the head of the class room, finally getting everyone's attention when he threw a textbook on the surface of the table before him. He smiled as though he had done nothing of the sort and said, "Bonjour classe." He greeted, his words coming easily.   
  
The class simply stared at him blankly and for the first time Clear wondered if she had made a mistake by deciding to take French; she didn't know a single thing about speaking this language, where she at least knew a few things in Spanish. She frowned, sinking lowering her chair and burying her face inside her backpack, pretending once again to be searching for something.   
  
The teacher sighed, pursing his lips and gazing out at the students, who were still staring blankly at them. "And to that you would say 'Bonjour Monsieur Murneau.'" He muttered, trying to sound patiently and being unable to mask his tiredness.  
  
The room was still silent until the man sighed again, turning around to face the board, shrugging his shoulders. "Okay, let's start with something simple, I'll call the role. And when I say your name...raise your hand." He pulled the seating off the board and turned around the face the students, who had gone back to whispering amongst each other.   
  
Mr. Murneau began listing off names, starting with Alexander Browning, for he was at the start off the alphabet; unable to stop herself, Clear reciting the name over and over in her head (never putting her first name with his last, for that would only turn her into one of those girls that she despised.) She was sitting mentally repeating his name when she noticed that the professor was calling hers, repeatedly.   
  
"Clear Rivers...is Clear Rivers here?" He asked for the second time, causing her to blush and quietly call out that she was. As always, she received more then a few snickers, only this time she doubted that they were all because of her name.   
  
Mortified and wishing she was in Spanish class she sunk lower in her seat, pursing her lips and cursing her mother for ever giving her such a name. She continued to sulk until she noticed that Alex was turned around, facing her, which instantly caused her to sit up straight, a smile for him.   
  
"So we meet again Clear Rivers." As he said her name, his lips curled up in a smile, as though he was incapable of saying her name without breaking into a smile.   
  
She only managed to nod, feeling stupid as she did so, but fearing that she would say something even stupider and wisely kept her mouth shut. "So, have you been enjoying our little school so far?" Alex questioned, though once again she could tell that he wasn't truly interested, only making polite conversation so he wouldn't feel guilty about ignoring her for the rest of the year.   
  
"Yeah, sorta." Clear told him, brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ears.   
  
Alex nodded once, shifting in his seat, slightly uncomfortable. "Well, I found my way around pretty well, I've been in here sometimes..." He trailed off, glancing over at his friend, who seemed slightly amused by the whole thing.   
  
Clear had never been a big talker and that was a fact she had known but for the moment, she wanted to be the most interesting person in the world, wanting more than anything to carry on a conversation with Alex. "Right...it's not a big school, I found my classes pretty easy." She muttered lamely, knowing that she was lying because it was a very large school (three floors) and she had gotten lost (four times.)   
  
For a second, Alex studied her, looking over at his friend again, pursing his lips; he wasn't very good at starting up a conversation with anyone (especially not girls he thought to be a little half-way pretty) and Clear was not making it easy for him to talk to. "Clear, this is my friend Tod. Tod, Clear's from Connecticut." His words ran together, so much so that Tod and Clear had a hard time understanding what he had said at all.   
  
Tod nodded once by way of a greeting but Clear was too busy swooning to even notice; she was surprised and impressed that he had remembered everything she had said to him, aside from her name, which everyone remembered. She was about to ask Alex generic questions about himself when the teacher finished calling role and clapped his hands again, causing the room to grow silent once more.   
  
"Welcome to French class where we will learn how to speak French." Mr. Murneau spoke slowly, which he knew would surely benefit the jocks in the classroom. "And for those of you who stay in this class until your senior year, you will get to voyage to Une Ville de Leger!" When he ended his sentence in French, the class once again gave him their soon to be patented blank looks, except Clear who was still feeling mortified and hiding her face until the blushing stopped. Her head perked up when the teacher translated his final words into English, which had everyone's attention. "The City of Lights...Paris." Mr. Murneau said and even smiled slightly when everyone let out a collective "oh" and nodded.   
  
A smile spread across Clear's face as well, though hers was for a completely different reason. She was instantly picturing herself sitting in a quaint little cafe in Paris, sipping coffee while sitting beside Alex, his arm around her shoulder. She pictured seeing the Eiffel Tour (something she had wanted to do since she was little) and, even better, seeing it with Alex; boating down the Seine and seeing all the sights, arm and arm with Alex suddenly made French class the most wonderful class man had ever created.   
  
Her spirits soared even more when she heard the words that Alex leaned over to listen to Tod. "We defiantly need to go on this trip, see all the French women." Tod smiled and nodded his agreement but Clear wouldn't let those words get her down.   
  
Hopefully by the time their senior year rolled around, she would be the American woman that he wanted to spend his time in Paris with. Her mind wandered once again as she pictured Alex speaking sweet-nothings to her in flawless French.  
  
Now she understood why everyone called French the language of love.   
  
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Okay, I don't know if that's really how you spell the French teacher's name but I didn't really feel like getting up, going upstairs and putting the movie on Closed Captionin so I could see how to spell it. Also, I actually take French but don't really understand it, but all the French used is correct (I used my book :) Please review! 


	3. Ally

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Wow, what can I say? Thank you so much for the reviews! Everyone is saying such nice things to me, it makes me feel so very good! Thank you guys so much! And thanks to the reviewer who corrected my horrible French, told you I didn't understand it. Oh well, I won't put anymore French in, so I don't embarrass myself again. Thanks again for the reviews!   
  
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Chapter Three   
  
Ally   
  
By the time French class had ended, Clear felt like she was five years older and none the wiser when it came to another language. She begun shoving her notebooks and newly issued textbook into her backpack so she could follow Alex out of the classroom and hopefully start up a more successful conversation with him. She leapt to her feet, sliding out of her desk and slinging her backpack onto her shoulder, nearly taking out the person who was standing behind her, not that she noticed or cared as she rushed through the throng of students, trying to catch up with Alex and Tod. The boys had been out of the classroom as soon as the bell had sounded, moving like lightning, finally free of the confines of such a horrible class. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Clear wondered if Alex's quick exit had been because of her and quickly pushed those thoughts from her mind, knowing it would not bode well for her to think like that.   
  
Within seconds, Clear was out of the room as well, nearly crashing into the dark-haired jock from earlier, who called after her angrily before going on his way. Weaving around her peers, the brunette breathed a short sigh of relief when she saw the back of Alex's head, which she now knew like she knew her own, after having stared at it for an hour and thirty minutes.   
  
With a burst of speed, Clear easily caught up with Alex and his friend, who were laughing at some memory or other. "Hi Alex." She breathed, attempting to sound normal, which was difficult because it was hard for her to remember to even breathe.   
  
Surprised, Alex turned his head in her direction, raising an eyebrow slightly. He hadn't expected to see Clear again so soon but he didn't let those feelings show as he looked at her. "Oh hi Clear, what's up?" He didn't know if his words sounded lame or forcibly polite but he didn't much care. Even though no girl had ever paid so much attention to him (aside from his mother but she didn't count) and he wasn't sure how to respond and Tod was of no help, snickering almost silently beside him.   
  
Clear shrugged, shifting her backpack as she did so. "I was just wondering..." What? What could she possibly be wondering? Thinking as quickly as she could in such a situation, she reached into her pocket and whipped out her nearly ripped schedule, shoving it to him. "Where Mr. Hill's English class is."   
  
Slowly, Alex took the schedule and unfolded it, glancing at the room number before handing it back to the brunette, who was nervously chewing on her bottom lip. "It's downstairs, next to the library." He told her with a confirmation nod from his friend, who knew the entire school because his brother was a year above them.   
  
"Okay, thanks." Clear mumbled, stuffing the paper back into her pocket and fishing for something else to say to him before she lost her chance. Sadly, wit was not on her side at that moment and Alex spoke first, though it wasn't by way of sparkling conversation.   
  
He stopped walking suddenly and Tod and Clear stopped with him, almost without realizing it. "Well, this is my next class. See you later." He spoke the words to Tod as he slipped through the open door of his class, though Clear quickly made herself believe that they were for her as well.   
  
With a smile on his face, Tod turned to face the brunette, who was gazing wistfully at the boy of her dreams as he took his seat beyond the door. "So, it's painfully obvious that you have a crush on Alex." He said it bluntly, as though he were simply telling her the words to help her out.   
  
Clear, however, didn't appreciate the hand-up and turned to face him, blushing madly. She was about to say something to him, or perhaps beg him frantically to not tell Alex (or to help hook them up, she wasn't quiet sure yet) when a shout cut through the hallway, directed in their direction.   
  
"Wagner, you little shit!" The voice belonged to none-other then Carter Horton, who was shoving people aside as he stormed through the hallway, heading toward Tod, who was now paler then a polar bear.   
  
Clear's eyes grew wide as she looked from the angry jock to the boy beside her, who already looked like he didn't have a fighting chance. "Who is that?" She accented her words as though to let him know that she had seen him before and that little bits of his reputation preceded him.   
  
With eyes wider then hers, Tod glanced at her, tensing, ready to run. "That's Carter Horton, asshole extraordinaire. I guess he figured out that I was the one that wrote 'Carter Horton's a fag' on the bathroom wall." He explained quickly, judging his best escape route as Carter grew nearer.   
  
At the last possible second, Tod bolted tearing through the hallway with Carter at his heels, yelling threats and names at the fleeing Freshmen. Clear frowned, brow knotting, trying to decide what she should do, if anything, about the events; with a shrug, she headed downstairs, thoughts once again drifting to Alex.   
  
* * *   
  
As if her day wasn't going bad enough already, Clear discovered that she had been put into the wrong English class and was sent back to the guidance office to once again to battle with Mrs. Collins.   
  
The brunette practically slung into the office, anticipating the look that the old woman would give her and having thoughts of the woman refusing to help her and forcing her into the wrong English class. When she entered the room, Mrs. Collins glanced up with a smile on her face, a smile that quickly vanished when she saw who had entered her office.   
  
"Miss Rivers...what brings you back here? Decided to take German?" The old woman's voice carried no sense of humor, nor did her face, lips pursed, eyes narrowing.   
  
Clear shook her head, mumbling something about being in the wrong English class, only to be told to sit once again the hard plastic seats while the secretary's crossed checked open classes. Only when Clear sat down did she noticed that she wasn't the only student in the room; she found herself sitting next to Tod, who sported a black eye and a bruise on his cheek.   
  
"Looks like Carter caught up with you." Clear muttered without thinking, not having any intentions of starting up a conversation with Alex's best friend, aside from to beg him to remain silent about her apparently obvious crush.   
  
Tod offered her a slight smile, wincing slightly at the pain it appeared to cause. "Well, he's not running back on the football team for nothing." He told her, adding that he was waiting to meet with the principal to explain his side of the story. "Needless to say, I'm going to leave out the 'fag' part."   
  
With a grin, Clear nodded, feeling more relaxed then she had all day, even around Alex; being around Alex forced her to be more reserved, trying desperately not to do something that would make her look stupid in his eyes. But sitting with Tod, who managed to joke about his own facial wounds, made her feel more relaxed but she still had to remind herself to be careful, since he was Alex's best friend after all. "Well, that would probably be for the best." She told him, staring down at her own feet, the relaxed feeling disappearing when she realized that surely anything she said would be told, later on, to Alex.   
  
Tod nodded once, remaining silent and looking straight ahead. Finally he turned to glance at her, raising an eyebrow as he studied her. "So, I believe we were discussing your interest in my friend before we were rudely interrupted." His words carried a serious tone and Clear looked at him, frowning slightly.   
  
The color returned in full force to her cheeks and Clear shifted uncomfortably, trying to decide what to say. Finally, thinking of nothing else, she grumbled, "Is it that obvious?" She wasn't sure she wanted an answer, but now that the words were out of her mouth, she couldn't take them back.   
  
"To everyone except for Alex, who probably wouldn't know you liked him if you smacked him the face with a two-by-four." Tod assured her, sensing her discomfort. He wasn't sure when he had suddenly gotten so in tune with the fairer sex and decided it was simply those long talks with his mother all those years ago about "treating women right and respecting them." Normally, he would have laughed in Clear's face and told the entire school of her feelings for Alex but he seemed to have suddenly moved past that. It was high school now, after all.   
  
Clear couldn't decide if she should be reassured or disappointed and wondered if knocking Alex senseless with a piece of wood would be what it took to get him to notice her. She abolished her last thoughts, realizing with a smile that he already had noticed her and spoken to her on three occasions now.   
  
Before she could say anything more to the boy beside her, the door to the principal's office opened and Carter Horton stormed out, followed by the principal, who was still scolding the football player.   
  
Carter glared at Tod as he passed, narrowing his eyes at the wiry boy sitting a safe distance from him. "Just you wait, Wagner, I'll catch you and next time, I'll beat your ass." Carter assured, ignoring the reprimands of the principal.   
  
Tod returned the glare, though he didn't pull it off like Carter had done. "Yeah and when you do...it'll be round two in the principal's office for you buddy." Tod muttered lamely, staring at the ground as he realized that his words carried no threat and only made the jock laugh.   
  
After hustling Carter out of the office, the principal turned back to face Tod and motioned for him to join him in the adjoining office. Tod stood and, just before he disappeared into the office, turned back to look at Clear, who was still staring at the floor. "I'll talk to Alex." He assured her, knowing that those four words said a great deal more then he had.   
  
Clear looked up a grinned, realizing that had been the best thing she had heard all day.   
  
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Okay, this is kinda short compared to the other two chapters but I don't know whether to make the chapters long or short so I decided to get in the middle. Also, the title of this chapter is lame but I couldn't think of anything better so...sorry. And, if anyone has any ideas of what they would like to see happen, please include them in your review. Thanks! 


	4. Thinking About Tomorrow

Chapter Four   
  
Thinking About Tomorrow   
  
As soon as the dismissal bell sounded, the doors to each and every classroom in Mt. Abraham High School burst open and the students trapped inside poured out, heading down the hallway toward their freedom. The glee was suppressed only by the knowledge that they would be forced to return the following day but even that didn't seem to have much effect on them. They had survived their first day of school.   
  
Clear was the last to force herself out of her World History classroom, having nothing to look forward to by hurrying home. Only the thought that she might see Alex before heading to her grandparents house caused her to pick up her pace slightly and join her peers outside in the crowded parking lot. The brunette scanned the area, looking for the familiar brown head and perking slightly when she saw Alex and Tod standing off to one side, talking with a boy who appeared to be slightly older then them.   
  
With nothing to lose, Clear headed their direction, hoping that Tod had at least had a chance to talk a little with Alex, assuming they had had a chance to talk at all. Tod saw her first and rose his hand in a slight wave, making a "come-hither" motion to her, causing Alex to turn and see who he was motioning to. He didn't smile, causing Clear to wonder if he saw her at all, knowing that he must have, which caused her to frown as well, knowing that he didn't care whether she was there or not.   
  
"Hey Alex." She said with a smile, filling in the gap between Tod and the object of her affections. "Hi Tod." She added, a second thought, feeling bad that she hadn't included him earlier. He was, after all, the first person (so far) that had really gone out of his way to make more then polite conversation with her.   
  
Alex nodded in way of a greeting, shifting uncomfortably and Clear forced herself not to notice. "Hey Clear." Tod said with a slightly smile, his gaze ticking over to his friend. "This is my brother, George." He introduced, pointing to the boy standing on his other side. George remained silent, as did Clear, who's attention was currently all for Alex.   
  
The group of four remained silent for a moment, an uneasily, uncomfortable sort of silence and Clear knew she was the cause of. It wasn't the first time that she had noticed that no one seemed to know how to act around her but this was the first time that she really cared. She wanted desperately to say something, anything but wasn't sure what to say and wisely kept her mouth shut.   
  
Finally, Tod realized that it was his duty to break the ice, glancing from his friend to Clear, a smile pulling his lips up slightly. He had known Alex since they were kids and had seen him go through many crushes and thus, found it easy to tell when he was about to launch himself into another. And so, it wasn't difficult to tell that Alex was uncomfortable around Clear because he was attracted to her; Tod wasn't sure how deep the attraction ran but he knew it was there and knew it was his duty to make sure that it wasn't put to waste. "So, it's pretty great that we're all in the same French class, isn't it?" So it wasn't the smartest of remarks but Tod hoped it would at least get the conversation flowing.   
  
However, Clear and Alex both nodded, staring at the cracked pavement beneath their feet; once again, Clear wanted to say something more but couldn't form the correct words. She was actually worried about what might come from her mouth and decided not to take the chance. Beside his brother, George shook his head, snickering slightly. "Well, this is certainly a rousing conversation. Tod, tell Mom that I went to practice and I'll be back for dinner." And with that, George slipped his matching letterman's jacket on and headed toward the back of the school, where the football field was located.   
  
Tod sighed, knowing that there was only so much silence that everyone could take and decided that they had long since exceeded their limit. "Well, we'd best be heading home, see you later Clear." He said, nudging Alex along, who seemed slightly grateful to be doing something other then studying the sky.   
  
"Right, see you tomorrow." Alex told the brunette, who eagerly repeated the same, unable to repress a smile as she waved. She watched Alex and Tod until they disappeared, walking home together.   
  
A smile still on her face, Clear headed in the direction of her grandparents' house, having decided that she didn't want to take the bus and that walking would help her organize her thoughts anyway.   
  
Not that she had a lot to organize, sine the only thing on her mind was Alex and the knowledge that Tod was going to do his best to see if there was any chance of a romantic future between the two. Clutching her newly issued school books against her chest, it was all Clear could do to keep from skipping down the sidewalk, something that she surely would never had done before. Despite her burning hatred toward her mother, she found herself wishing that she could tell her mother all about Alex and confide in her. But that was impossible and she surely wasn't going to tell her grandmother about the new (and first) love of her life.   
  
Clear managed to push those slightly grievous thoughts from her mind by simply thinking of Alex's face: his beautiful eyes and charming, slightly bashful, smile.   
  
He had promised that he would see her tomorrow, he had actually said it; not just a simple "goodbye" or a wave but those ever-so-promising three words. Clear couldn't keep the smile from her face as she thought about all the promises that tomorrow might hold.   
  
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Okay, I know this chapter's short, which is why I'm posting two. Also, the name "Thinking About Tomorrow" comes from the song of the same name by Beth Orton. 


	5. Crush

Chapter Five   
  
Crush   
  
For the first half of the walk, Tod and Alex were silent, both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Tod turned to face his friend, pausing and causing Alex to do the same. "So, Alex, I've been meaning to ask you, what do you think about Clear?" The question was blunt but Tod had long since learned that was often the best way to approach things.   
  
For a second, Alex was sure that he was blushing but managed to shrug, trying to pull off the nonchalant act and knowing that it wasn't working since Tod knew him almost as well as he knew himself. "She's okay, a little strange, but okay. Why?" He asked, raising an eyebrow, interested in where his friend was going. Secretly, he thought that Clear was more then "okay", though she was a little strange, he thought she was pretty and had developed a crush on her the first them he had seen her.   
  
Tod nodded slowly, a smile creasing across his face as he did so, which caused Alex to realize that his friend was reading him like a book. "So, you like her then." Tod pointed out, trying to make it sound like a question, though he was clearly stating a fact.   
  
"Well...you know, she's okay." Alex repeated, casting his glance away from his friend to the sidewalk, trying to think of something more convincing to say. He wasn't sure he wanted his best friend to know that he truly liked Clear, since the last time he had admitted to a crush, Tod had promptly gone about telling the entire school, including Carter Horton who had teased him for months. And, if he was being truly truthful with himself, then he would have to admit that he wasn't completely over his last crush, Adrienne Grant, who was blonde, beautiful, their age and not "strange" like Clear. However, when Carter had gone about teasing him last year, he had also told Adrienne about his little "crush" and she hadn't really spoken to him since.   
  
Tod clicked his tongue, shaking his head with a smile. "Right, 'okay' as in 'madly in love?'" He questioned, raising his eyebrow once again. "You need to move past the Adrienne Grant thing and realize that other girls actually like you." Once again, Tod knew he had hit his friend's thoughts right on the head, judging by the way Alex blushed slightly.   
  
Alex was about to retort when he paused, glancing up at his friend. "I'm sure Clear doesn't really like me..." He trailed off, knowing that it wasn't true as soon as he had spoken. After all, Clear had been eager to talk to him and just as eager to follow him around all day, which sounded like normal behavior for girls who liked the opposite sex.   
  
"Oh yes, my friend, she likes you just as much as you like her." Tod retorted with a smile, still shaking his head. When Alex didn't say anything by way of a denial Tod continued, "Well, it's settled then; tomorrow you will ask her out and when you get married make sure to toast me, as your best man, for setting you up in the first place."   
  
Alex shook his head, glaring at his friend with mock anger and pursing his lips. "I won't go that far, it's just a crush...maybe." He added quickly, pushing away the images of him getting married without too much difficulty.   
  
Tod didn't say anything, just shrugged and started walking once again. Alex followed after him, toying with the idea of asking Clear out and decided that he almost liked the idea.   
  
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Another short chapter, I know, I'm sorry. But this should tie my wonderful readers over until I write the next chapter. Thanks again for reading and please review! 


	6. Long Day Coming

Chapter Six   
  
Long Day Coming   
  
Clear was more happy then she had ever been when she heard her alarm clock go off the next morning, signaling the start of another day and another chance to see Alex. For the first time in years, she actually spent a while attempting to decide what to wear, trying to decide what would make her the most appealing to Alex, the best possible dating material. It was just her luck that all of her clothes were ugly, baggy or both, making her look neither sexy nor attractive.   
  
She decided on a red sleeveless top (that hadn't fit when she had gotten it three years ago) and faded black jeans, not answering her grandparents' questions on why she was so "dressed up." Just as she had promised herself on the walk home the previous day, Clear had kept her mouth shut about Alex, letting him be her precious little secret; she had learned long ago that once something was shared with someone else, the meaning of the words lost whatever power they once held.   
  
Bidding her now legal-guardians goodbye, Clear slipped out of the house and headed toward Mt. Abraham High School, nearly buzzing with excitement. For the first time since her father had died, she found that she actually had something to look forward to, a solid reason to keep on living; she just hoped that Tod had spoken to his friend, praying that her feelings were returned.   
  
By the time she had covered the distance, the school parking lot and hallways were already filled with students and teachers alike, all milling about before having to spend the day in the dull "prison." Clear roamed the hallways until first period, looking around for Alex or Tod (preferably Alex) and managing to get herself on Carter's bad side by bumping into him in the hallway and causing him to spill his Coke. Not wanting to suffer Tod's fate, she had left the scene without sticking around to apologize, something she was certain she would regret later.   
  
Clear forced herself into her first period class, still mourning that fact that she hadn't seen Alex that morning. She didn't let that little thing get her down, however, knowing that she would see him in French class, just a few periods away.   
  
* * *   
  
Tod looked over at his friend, who was too busy pretending to pay attention to their first period teacher to actually hear a word the man was saying. It only took one look at Alex's face for Tod to realize that he was contemplating exactly what he was going to say to Clear, provided he decided to ask her at all. Unable to take anymore, Tod decided to get an answer before fourth period, leaning the short distance across the aisle to whisper to Alex. "So, are you going to ask her?" By the look on Alex's face, he could tell that he had caught his friend red-handed.   
  
Alex shrugged, attempting to act as though he was paying great attention to the lecture but unable to maintain the guise any longer. "I don't know...I haven't decided." He mumbled finally, pursing his lips.   
  
Tod smiled slightly, shaking his head slightly. "Well, you'd better decide quick because this class is almost over." He pointed out, raising an eyebrow.   
  
Alex gave him a slightly confused look. "But French isn't until fourth period." He pointed out, trying to figure out what he was friend was getting at.   
  
"Right, but you never know when Clear might show up." Tod remarked, nodding when Alex nodded as well. Alex knew his friend had a point, Clear did seem to have a habit of following him around and popping up whenever he stayed in one place for too long. He just figured it was all the more proof that she really did like him but he still hadn't made up his mind about asking her out. He didn't know her, after all, aside from the fact that she lived with her grandparents and that she was strange and pretty. He never realized asking someone out on a date would be so difficult.   
  
"Right." Alex muttered instead, pulling away from his friend and leaning back in his chair, thoughts once again drifting toward Clear and the impending fourth period. Time suddenly seemed to go by a lot faster.   
  
* * *   
  
Alex was already in French class by the time Clear walked in, trying to keep a low profile to avoid being seen by Carter, who was chatting away with his jock friends and blonde girlfriend. Just when she thought she had flown underneath his radar, the dark haired jock turned her way with a sneer on his hard features. "Well if it isn't Miss Queer Rivers." He called, loud enough for the whole class to hear, friends snickering. Glaring at him, Clear gave him the finger (which only made him even more upset) and slipped to the back of the classroom, taking her seat behind Alex.   
  
Instantly, Tod turned around to face her, a friendly smile upon his lips, which looked rather promising to Clear. "So, looks like you've drawn the unwanted attention of Carter." He remarked, proof that everyone had heard the short exchange that had passed between the two only seconds earlier.   
  
She shrugged her shoulders, Carter Horton far from her mind as she looked at the back of Alex's head, wondering why he had yet to turn around and join in on the discussion. 'That's it, he's not going to ask me out...or ask me anything...or even talk to me.' Clear realized with growing horror, realizing that she wasn't sure if she could bare the thought of Alex not liking her.   
  
"That's too bad, he's going to be attempting to beat the hell out of you for the rest of your life. In kindergarten, I spilled glue all over his pants and he's been after me since. Alex called him a 'butt-face' in preschool and the same goes for him, there's no escaping Carter Horton." Tod told her, trying to act casual, though it was obvious that he was trying to start a conversation and keep it going, waiting for Alex to make his entrance.   
  
Finally, when all seemed lost, Alex turned around to regard the anxious brunette, who couldn't hide the huge smile that crossed her face. "So Clear do you like...movies?" Alex started and finished, realizing how lame he sounded.   
  
Clear nodded promptly, which would have been her response, even if Alex asked her if she liked to sky-dive. "Yes I love them." She told him, knowing that she hadn't been to the theatre since she was ten.   
  
Alex nodded as well, staring at Tod out of the corner of his eye, noting that his best friend was doing his best to pretend uninterested, though there was a smile of amusement upon his face. "Good." He muttered, returning his gaze to Clear. "So I was wondering if..." He paused, just long enough to glance toward the front of the classroom.   
  
Clear was already preparing her answer, complete with address, phone number and everything else she could think to give him. She could practically hear the words coming out of his mouth, words that she had prayed to hear since she had first laid eyes on Alex Browning.   
  
That was when she realized that he was longer even looking her direction, gaze directed to the front of the classroom. That was when Clear noticed that someone else was commanding Alex's attention....   
  
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Okay, so the cliff-hanger thing is kinda lame but oh well...who is it? You'll have to review and see (if you don't already know). The title of this chapter comes from the song "Isobel" by Dido. Also, the part about Carter calling Clear "Queer" I got from the fics by Dark5...so, I thought I'd credit her. 


	7. Adrienne

Well, here's another chapter; I'm impressed with the reader who knew right away who had entered the classroom. I guess I am quite predictable, and offer no surprises but...that's okay I guess. Thanks again for all the reviews, once again, if anyone has any suggestions or anything they would like to see in this story then please don't hesitate. Now, on with the chapter.  
  
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Chapter Seven   
  
Adrienne  
  
Clear shifted slightly so that she could follow Alex's gaze, frowning slightly; whatever had captured his attention better be damn good to have interrupted an invitation for a date. Her frown grew when she saw that Alex's attention was focused on a leggy blonde, who had drawn the attention of the other males in the room, including the balding teacher, who was talking to her while glancing at her schedule. At first glance, Clear figured that the girl was there age, though far more mature in body, which was exactly why she had drawn everyone's focus so easily; her blue eyes were hard to miss, especially because the brown peasant top she wore caused them to stand out even more. Everything she worn, down to her earrings and bracelet, complimented her look perfectly and Clear narrowed her eyes, trying not to think of how unattractive she looked in her carefully chosen outfit.   
  
Tod hadn't missed Adrienne Grant's entrance into the classroom and instantly knew that it would not bode well for his friend, and especially Clear, who would surely have to jump through hoops of fire, naked, just to get Alex to blink if he was looking at Adrienne. Though Alex had made up his mind about asking Clear out for a night at the movies (even going so far to admit that he liked her), Tod knew that all those carefully planned sentences would now be for waste, especially if Adrienne was in their French class. Which, of course, seemed like the obvious thing since the teacher was directing her to an empty seat in the front of the room.   
  
"Tod...can you believe it? Adrienne Grant is in our French class." Alex muttered, eyes still on the blonde, even as she took her seat, ignoring Carter's not so subtle cat-calls. "I mean, I thought she moved."   
  
The only thing Tod could think to do was nod, since what his friend said was true, after all; at the end of the previous school year, Adrienne had mentioned to her peers that she and her parents were probably moving Albany, which had left Alex broken hearted for nearly the whole summer. Everyday he had passed by her house on his bike, glaring at the "for sale" sign in the yard and looking rather pathetic, in Tod's opinion. As discussed the previous day, Alex still hadn't gotten over his crush, despite the knowledge that Adrienne had moved. Or so they had all thought.   
  
Now here she was, looking very studious as she started copying French phrases off the whiteboard before her. "Right, maybe she moved back." Tod muttered lamely, very aware of Clear's cold stares, directed not only toward Adrienne but toward Alex and himself as well.   
  
Clear had long sense been forgotten in Alex's mind and this was a fact he made very obvious when he stood up, taking his gaze away from the blonde long enough to look at his friend. "I think I'm going to go talk to her, see how she's been." It wasn't a thought, it was a decision that was ready to be put into action.   
  
Tod knew he could do nothing to stop his friend but that wasn't going to keep him from trying. "Alex, you couldn't even talk to her when you were six, what makes you think you can now?" When his friend didn't answer, he decided to try a different approach. Standing up, he grabbed Alex's arm, keeping him from moving any farther. "What about Clear?" He whispered.   
  
Alex pulled his arm free, raising an eyebrow. "What about her?" He questioned, ever the clueless fourteen-year-old male and headed toward Adrienne, who didn't notice him until he stood beside her desk.   
  
With a sigh, Tod slid back into his seat, turning to face Clear, though he wasn't sure he wanted to. "Who is that?" Clear questioned as soon as she saw that she had his attention. She looked confused and hurt, like someone had just run over her dog and then given it to her, gift-wrapped.   
  
"That is Adrienne Grant, the object of affection for every male in Mt. Abraham, including, sadly, Alex." Tod knew there was no way to beat around the bush, going for her usual directness.   
  
Seeing Alex talking and laughing with a girl that wasn't her nearly broken Clear's heart into pieces and she balled her fingers into fists, squeezing until her knuckles turned white. She had thought that Alex was about to ask her out but now that appeared that it wasn't the case; all her hopes of snuggling up with him in the movies were suddenly dashed.   
  
To make matters worse, she suddenly pictured Alex and Adrienne Grant in Paris together, sharing a pair of binoculars while they were at the top of the Eiffel Tower. And that was the thought that brought tears to her eyes.   
  
Desperate to hide the sudden show of emotion, Clear tossed her backpack onto her desk and once again buried her head inside, pretending to be searching for something. She ignored Tod's inquires, asking if she was okay, and ignored the sounds of Alex's now familiar laughter.   
  
If ever Carter Horton was going to beat her within an inch of her life, now would be the perfect time.   
  
* * *   
  
By the time French class began, the inevitable became obvious. Obviously, whatever had caused Adrienne to steer clear of Alex all last year was old news and the two had been talking like old friends until they were forced to part when the class began. But by that time, however, Adrienne had already excepted Alex's offer to go to the movies on Friday night.   
  
When Clear heard Alex ask Adrienne the same question he had asked her before they had been rudely interrupted, she nearly knocked herself senseless by knocking her head against the surface of her desk. No one had noticed, not even Tod, who seemed amazed that his friend had managed to carry on a conversation with the apparently untouchable goddess of the ninth grade. By the time Alex returned to his seat, a wide smile upon his face, Clear had such a horrible headache that she couldn't tell English from French and didn't even bother to try.   
  
All that was on her mind was how Alex had deserted her, in mid-sentence (of all things) to go ask another girl out on a date. 'Our date,' Clear thought sadly, pushing aside the mental pictures of sharing popcorn with Alex at the movies.   
  
By the time French class had (thankfully) ended, Clear's sorrow had turned to hatred, and she felt like beating Alex senseless with the very French book that had given her such a headache. She nearly did that very thing as she walked Alex walk over to Adrienne, already smiling at her.   
  
As soon as Clear saw his charming smile, directed at someone else, the anger dissolved back into sorrow. 


	8. Pity

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So, sorry about that little hiatus, I've been rather busy lately, with school and "work" and babysitting my evil little brothers. But here it is, yet another chapter for me to torture poor Clear in; I know exactly how Clear feels, no joke, it's rather pathetic. Also, I'm going to go off on a tangent and acknowledge of few things: first off, please read my "F.D.3" story, I'm working really hard on it. Also, my favorite author on ff.net at the moment is ScribbleDribble, please read her stories, they're very funny. And, everyone who hasn't already seen the movie "10 Things I Hate About You," shame because you should go see it right now. It's so funny and Heath Ledger is in it *and* is "educational" because it's based off Shakespeare so when you take Brit Lit in whatever grade you can understand "Taming of the Shrew." Well, now that the madness has ended, please review and read! :) And once again, the title of this chapter sucks but, I couldn't think of anything better.   
  
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Chapter Nine   
  
Pity   
  
The person Clear absolutely didn't want to see at the moment was Tod Wagner. Yet, here he was, headed her way, appearing very much like a man on a mission. She knew that "mission" was to talk to her and knew what was coming and attempted to look for a way out of the inevitable conversation. So, turning on her heel, Clear bolted down the hallway, only to run right into Carter Horton, his bubbly air-head girlfriend and his gang of jock friends.   
  
Caught off guard and balance, the brunette stumbled to the floor, crashing into Tod, who had easily caught up with her. Carter's laughter rung in her ears as she shook her head, attempting to get her senses back; as if her day wasn't bad enough, it was just her luck to crash into the guy who already had a grudge against her.   
  
Tod got to his feet, gathered his and Clear's books and helped the brunette to her feet, only to pale when he noticed that the Asshole Patrol had gathered. "Great, just what I need." He mumbled to himself, handing Clear her stuff and making frantic motions to signal an escape. He still needed to talk to the brunette and he didn't see how he could do such a thing if they both got killed by Carter and his buddies.   
  
"Well if it isn't Queer and Wanker, the two people I hate most in the school. Right now." Carter added the last two words as an afterthought, knowing that the statement would surely change, perhaps even by the end of the day.   
  
"Love to stay and chat Horton but-" Tod didn't even bother to finish, taking off down the hallway, not in the mood to freshen up yesterday's black eye. Clear took the hint and bolted as well, following after Alex's best friend, trying not to stumble over her slightly baggy pants.   
  
Carter frowned as he watched them disappear, glaring after them. His friends and fellow football players made cracks about Tod and Clear but Carter was in no mood to join in at the moment. He was too busy picturing beating the crap out of both of them, and Alex Browning, for that matter, for somehow scoring the most beautiful girl in school. Sure he had Terry but Adrienne Grant was a completely different sort of woman all together.   
  
* * *   
  
Clear finally stopped running when she realized that she had long since past her fifth period and that no one was chasing her. Tod had stopped a few yards ahead of her, dropping his books to the floor, bent over, attempting to catch his breathe. Clear frowned when she noticed him, pursing her lips; she had managed to outrun Carter Horton but there was no escaping the false pity-talk that she was about to get from Tod.   
  
Gathering his stuff again, Tod turned around and headed back to her, a boyish smile on his face. "What did you do to him anyway?" He asked breathlessly, referring to Carter's never-ending grudge against the brunette.   
  
Clear shrugged, frown deepening. "I spilled his coke, on accident, this morning and then in fourth he called me 'Queer Rivers' so I gave him the finger." She explained, unable to smile even when Tod did. She wasn't in the mood to smile at the moment and didn't feel like smiling ever again, for that matter; all she had to do was picture Alex and Adrienne together and all happy-thoughts seemed to vanish instantly.   
  
"Well, that's slightly more mature then calling him a butt-head." Tod remarked, sagely nodding his head once. There was a long pause and Clear shifted uncomfortably, knowing the inevitable was about to happen.   
  
"Look," Tod began, unable to look the brunette in the face, "I'm really sorry about what happened in French, I had no idea that Adrienne Grant was going to be there. But, Alex never should have done that to you, I really am sorry."   
  
Shrugging again, Clear forced herself to put on the guise of a teenage girl that hadn't just had her heart broken into a million pieces. It was a appearance that she had managed to perfect over the years. "Whatever, it doesn't matter anyway." She told him, shifting again. "I've really got to get to class." She said, and without another word, turned and headed down the hallway.   
  
She could feel Tod's eyes burning into her back but she pretended not to notice, and forced herself to ignore the tears that were pricking her eyelids. With a sigh, Clear forgot all about getting to her next period and ducked into the nearest bathroom, tossing her books into the empty seat next to her and glared at her reflection in the mirror in front of her.   
  
Pursing her lips, she attempted to figure out what made her less appealing then Adrienne Grant; she had always thought of herself as a pretty teenager, not drop-dead gorgeous but she definitely wasn't ugly. She just never could compliment her figure and her looks like other girls could, and was never assertive and rarely ever noticed. Clear tried to blink away the tears that had welled in her eyes, frowning when she realized that Alex had probably never thought she was pretty at all, judging as how easily he had forgotten her when Adrienne had entered the room.   
  
Unable to stop herself, she wished that her mother was around, to talk to her and help her be the assertive girl that Alex obvious had wanted all along. But her mother would never be around, too busy starting her brand-new life with her new husband, leaving her daughter alone to salvage whatever she could.   
  
Hot tears trickled down her cheeks and Clear grabbed a handful of coarse paper towels out of the dispenser, pressing them against her face. When she closed her eyes, the only thing she saw was Alex and Adrienne, walking hand-in-hand out of French class together.   
  
That thought made her cry even harder, unable to contain her tears any longer. Face buried in a mass of already wet paper towels, Clear didn't even look up when the bathroom door opened.   
  
  
  
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Short little note "Wanker" is Carter's nickname for Tod in ScribbleDribble's fics, so thanks to her for that little word. :) 


	9. Total Eclipse of the Heart

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Okay, so I know now for a fact that I have made someone's "favorites" list; the wonderful author ScribbleDribble has added this story to her favorite stories list. It's like winning the Oscar or something; well, maybe not but...and thanks to everyone else for your wonderful reviews and if you guys have added me to your "favorites" list, thanks so much! I love you all! Anyway...on with the story....   
  
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Chapter Nine   
  
Total Eclipse of the Heart   
  
The bathroom door swung shut but Clear didn't glance up, didn't even try to stifle her tears, knowing that it would be an impossible task. It didn't matter, anyway, who had entered; she didn't know any girls at Mt. Abraham, so no one would really care that she was bawling her eyes out in front of a dingy bathroom mirror.   
  
High-heels clicked against the cheap tile of the floor, heading toward the row of stalls but pausing suddenly; Clear could feel someone's eyes boring into her back but she remained where she was, face buried against rough paper towels.   
  
"Excuse me, it's really none of my business but are you all right?" The voice asking the question was soft, gentle, filled with semi-interest and actual caring.   
  
At the sound of the teenage girl's voice, Clear looked up, glancing at the figure behind her through the mirror. She was surprised to see Adrienne Grant standing behind her, brows knitted in concern, blonde hair falling down her shoulders.   
  
Upon seeing Adrienne, Clear wasn't quite sure what to think; part of her wanted to knock the blonde across the face with her Chemistry book for being a crush-stealing hussy. But the more sensible, not condoning violence part of her was actually impressed that the blonde had even cared enough to ask at all. Dabbing at her face with the tear-soaked towels, the brunette shrugged her shoulders, in no mood to confuse her deep secrets to the girl who had stolen her potential boyfriend. "Yeah." She muttered shortly, tossing the towels into an adjacent wastebasket.   
  
Adrienne pursed her perfectly painted lips slightly and stepped forward, setting her books and binders onto the floor beside her feet. "Well, you don't look all right; my mom's a psychologist, maybe I can help." She said this proudly, smiling slightly, and Clear wanted to slap that smile right off her face. She knew it was petty of her but she hated it when people talked about their perfect mothers and fathers, and their perfect home lives.   
  
"Thanks but I don't need a psychologist." Clear snapped instead, keeping her hands busy by wringing them together. She was also slightly offended by Adrienne's remark, knowing that it was true that she looked like a mess, with her blotchy face and red eyes but she certainly didn't look like a basket case.   
  
Adrienne frowned, obvious put off by the brunette's behavior; she wasn't used to people ignoring her or pushing away her polite offers to help. She knew she was popular and liked by all and had learned to use that to her advantage; but Clear was having none of it, which slightly confused her. (Adrienne truly was a blonde at heart.)   
  
"I didn't really mean it like that, I just meant that I'm good at listening to other people's problems." Adrienne explained, stepping forward until she was next to Clear, but still a safe-distance away from the brunette.   
  
Clear raised an eyebrow, turning until she could see the blonde without looking in the mirror; Adrienne seemed almost genuinely concerned, or as concerned as a person could be for a complete stranger. No one had paid this much attention to her feelings since she was ten and her father had still been around. "I don't even know you, I don't think you'd be interested in my problems." She said, chewing on the inside of her lip. 'Especially because you're the cause of them,' she added silently, deciding to keep those ideas to herself, mainly because she didn't want Adrienne false 'I'm sorry, I didn't know' spiel.   
  
Adrienne couldn't help but smile at that remark, shaking her head. "Well, then, I'm Adrienne Grant, and I've never seen you before so I guess you're new." The blonde told her, and for a second, Clear thought that she was about to extend her hand but Adrienne kept her arms across her chest.   
  
"Clear...Rivers, from Connecticut." The brunette sniffed, feeling tears threaten to spring again, simply brought on by the mention of her old, once happy life. Connecticut was a long way away, a different life; she had been a different person back then, the sort of perfect only child with a loving mother and father. She briefly remembered sitting with her father on the steps of his vacation cabin, which was only twenty-minutes from here; she and her parents used to vacation up there every available chance. Her father had taught her how to fish and even play the guitar, which she was still struggling with; she had a picture of them, together, proudly holding their fishing poles. She had been ten and it was the last picture she had ever taken with her father.   
  
Clear pushed those thoughts from her mind, knowing it would do no good to dwell upon them. Things were different back then, and she was different now too.   
  
For once, Adrienne didn't laugh at her parent's naming cruelty, just simply nodded. "Well, now we do know each other, so I'm ready to listen to whatever is bothering you." The blonde said with a slight smile.   
  
Clear looked at the blonde, trying to decide if she should open her mouth at all; at that moment, she recalled the words to one of her favorite 80's songs, which had been played constantly on the radio when she was younger, "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler. She had only been five or six when the song had come out but she still remembered it clearly, singing it with her father and mother as they drove in the car, none of them truly knowing the words. "Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart, nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart." She hadn't really understood what the words had meant then but she understood them perfectly now. But how could to explain that to Adrienne, especially when she was the cause of her "falling apart" and she wasn't sure she even wanted to.   
  
"It's nothing." Clear said finally, not looking at Adrienne. "It's just this boy..." The opening and shutting of the bathroom door stopped her from saying anything more and she was glad it had. She had been about to tell Adrienne the whole story, something she surely would have regretted as soon as the words left her mouth.   
  
"Oh my God, Adrienne Grant, it really is you!" Trilled a squeaky voice from behind them. Both teenagers turned to see who had spoken and Clear frowned when she saw Terry Chaney, Carter's bubble-butt girlfriend, standing with a falsely surprised smile on her face.   
  
"Terry." Adrienne said, appearing equally happy, rushing to give the blonde a hug. "I thought that was you in French class." She said when they parted, still smiling.   
  
Terry nodded, glancing in the mirror, ignoring Clear completely, and fixing her flawless makeup and re-positioning her curly blonde hair. "I wanted to come up and talk to you but you seemed pretty busy with Alex Browning. So what's the deal with that anyway, he's like a major loser." Terry asked, turning around to face Adrienne.   
  
Clear narrowed her eyes without realizing it, glaring at Terry and Adrienne, feeling her heart threaten to break all over again. She didn't want to hear the falsely sympathetic blonde talk about the love of her life. Adrienne nodded, having forgotten that she was there at all. "He's not a loser, he's just not very talkative; he's really sweet and funny though, not like those other guys."   
  
'I could have told you that,' Clear thought angrily, hurriedly gathering up her books to make a quick exit. Terry shrugged her shoulders, ignoring Clear once again as she bustled past her. "Whatever you say, it's just strange, he's so weird." She remarked.   
  
"You're wrong but anyway, we're going out on Friday, to the movies." Adrienne told her friend as Clear slipped out of the bathroom, gritting her teeth and wishing that she had knocked Adrienne in the face with her textbook.   
  
Adrienne hadn't cared after all, it was just a ploy to surely get her more points in the popular department, assuring a vote if she ever wanted to run for class president. Clear kicked herself for being so stupid, so easily touched by someone paying the least bit of attention to her.   
  
Total eclipse of the heart indeed, Clear thought sarcastically as she hurried to be late to her next class, which had long since started without her. There was nothing eclipsing the fact that she hated Adrienne grant with a passion and that she was still in love with Alexander Browning.   
  
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Okay, that was a really lame chapter, sorry about that but I thought it would be interesting to have Clear and Adrienne interact. Of course "Total Eclipse of the Heart" belongs to Bonnie Tyler; I really love that song and I thought it had to do with Clear's situation so had to put it in there. The part about Clear's dad teaching her to play guitar comes from ScribbleDribble's story "The Lake." Please review! 


	10. Wish Upon a Star

Chapter Ten   
  
Wish Upon a Star   
  
By the time the day was over, Clear couldn't have been happier; not that she was in any mood to suffer through the boring exploits of her grandparents but anything was better then having to endure the public affection of Alex and Adrienne.   
  
Yet there they were, suddenly the "it" couple, standing on the sidewalk, Alex with his arm around the blonde's waste, looking like he was dating a supermodel. Tod and his brother hung around, both making lovely-dovey eyes at Terry Chaney, who was talking to Adrienne and trying to pretend the others weren't around.   
  
Tod glanced her direction and made eye contact with Clear, motioning for her to join them. With a painful frown, she waved her head and quickly headed the other way, shifting her backpack and her books. On top of seeing Alex "in love" with someone else, she had received a detention for being late to her class; she had already made up her mind not to tell her grandparents but the slip still weighed heavy in her mind. She had never gotten a detention before and she thought of the paper as yet another reminder that she was a different person living a different life now.   
  
Clear took longer on the walk home this afternoon, too warped up in her thoughts to really care how long it took her to arrive "home." It wasn't her home yet and she doubted she would ever think of it like that, it was just a place to stay for the time being. But those weren't the thoughts on her mind as she strode down the sidewalk, chewing on her bottom lip and treading her fingers together. She was, as always, thinking about Alex and how her heart broke every time she thought of him with Adrienne.   
  
As she arrived at home, Clear ignored her grandmother's attempts to make a two second conversation and trudged upstairs, tossing her backpack onto her bed. She pulled the pink detention slip out of her pocket and dropped it onto her study desk.   
  
With a sigh, Clear walked over to her window and gazed outside, watching the wind shift through the trees and the clouds breeze across the sky. She pictured herself a million miles away from this place, walking down the bank of the Seine with Alex. A slight smile graced her face as she thought of pushing Adrienne into the river in Paris, or perhaps nudging her ever so gently off the top of the Eiffel Tower.   
  
She pushed those thoughts from her mind, wandering away from the window, knowing that those thoughts would do her no good and do nothing more then make her even more upset. Clear knelt down on her knees and peaked under the small space between her bed and the floor, sliding out the worn leather case that held her father's equally worn guitar.   
  
Clear popped the case open and strummed a few mournful cords, contemplating teaching herself to play so she could write heart-wrenching ballads about Alex. She scraped the idea when one of the strings snapped, nearly taking her eye out; she closed the case again, sliding it back under the bed. She'd always been a better artist anyway.   
  
She pulled her notepad from her backpack and sat down at the old oaken desk that her grandparents had dug out of the basement for her. When she sketched, Clear found that it was easier for her to pretend that she was somewhere else, someone else for that matter, and push away all her problems. This time was no exception and she forgot all about Adrienne Grant as she gently drew pencil sketches of her and Alex with Paris landscape as the background.   
  
By the time her grandmother called her down for dinner, Clear had filled up half her notebooks with the whimsical drawings of herself and Alex, sitting at quaint little Parisian cafes and touring the city. She remained silent all through dinner, mentally pretended that the pictures were a reality.   
  
  
  
* * *   
  
Clear pulled down the sheets on her bed, not too eager to go to sleep, knowing that she would only have to get up and see Alex and Adrienne together again in the morning. Not amount of pictures or wishful thinking would change that. Just like her mother's abandonment, Alex not being interested in her was a reality that she was going to have to face, no matter how painful it was.   
  
With a sigh, she left her bedside and stood by the window once again, though now it was difficult for her to see the trees in front of her house, for the moon was only half full and the corner street light didn't work. But it wasn't hard for her to see the sparkling stars in the velvet night sky.   
  
And staring at the stars, Clear found herself doing something that she hadn't done since she was six years old: wishing upon the stars. She remembered sitting on the front porch with her father, staring up at the sky. "You see Clear, all you have to do is focus on a star, concentrate really hard and make a wish, then all your dreams will come true." He'd told her, smiling down at his daughter.  
  
And she had done just that, concentrating so hard that she squinted her eyes. "I wish I was a princess." She had said with all the brains of a six year old. Her father had just laughing, rolling his eyes.  
  
Clear smiled briefly at the memory, picking a star and squinting her eyes tightly; once again she was the carefree six-year-old again, wishing upon a star. She pictured Alex's face as she mentally wished, pretending that she didn't feel foolish.   
  
If wishes on stars really came true, Clear realized that she would never be unhappy.   
  
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Sorry that chapter was short, but I burned my right-hand fingers so I've been pecking with my left hand. But, the pain will hopefully be gone by tomorrow so....I'll have another chapter tomorrow. The story is almost done but fear not, if you guys want me to, I'll do a sequel. Anyway, watch for another chapter of "Reaper F.D.3" and a story based on "From Justin to Kelly." Also, if anyone is interested, I actually got the idea for this chapter from the song "Wish Upon a Star" from "From Justin to Kelly." Please review! 


	11. Between Friends

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So, thanks for the reviews, I'm feeling the love and it makes me feel good. For those of you who care, my fingers are much better, so as promised, yet another chapter. So, like I said before, this story is almost over but I'll write a sequel if anyone wants one. Also, I'm watching "From Justin to Kelly" for the tenth time and I'm thinking "Final Destination: The Musical." Okay, anyway....sorry for that craziness but I'm kinda serious about the musical thing, it would be funny. But here's another chapter, please review.   
  
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Chapter Eleven   
  
Between Friends  
  
Tod showed up Alex's house a little after eight, telling Mrs. Browning that they were having a last minute study session. But, studying was the farthest thing on Tod's mind, needing to talk to Alex about Clear and Adrienne and hopefully sort things out in his own mind. It had taken him until dinner time that evening to realized that he liked Clear Rivers, perhaps more then he'd like any other girl in his life so far.   
  
He found his friend talking shamelessly on the phone to Adrienne, no doubt listening to her gab on about her latest mini-skirt or something of the like. Alex looked surprised when he noticed Tod, told Adrienne he'd call her back and turned to face his friend. "Hey, what's up?" He questioned, a slight smile upon his face. He could tell by Tod's face that he had something important to talk about and knew that it wouldn't do either of them any good to beat around the bush.   
  
Tod pulled the chair out from Alex's desk and positioned it front of the bed, so that he could easily look at his friend while he was talking to him. "I need to talk to you, about Clear and Adrienne." He confessed, figuring the direct approach would surely work the best.   
  
Alex pursed his lips and cocked his head, brows knitting. "What is it with you and Clear? Why do you keep pushing that?" He questioned, in no mood to deal with Tod giving him a hard time about leaving Clear. He knew his friend had a point, having realized that as he thought back on the scene; he shouldn't have just left the brunette in mid-sentence but he wasn't really too into asking her out in the first place. It wasn't just any girl that he'd left her for, it was Adrienne Grant, the object of his affections for many years.   
  
"That's not exactly what I want to talk to you about but now that you brought it up, are you sure Adrienne is the right girl for you?" Tod asked, suddenly nervous and embarrassed about talking to Alex about his possibly feelings for Clear, even though he had known his friend since they were four.   
  
Alex expression changed from one of anger to one of confusion. "Yeah, I mean, I've wanted to go out with her for a long time and now I finally get the chance to. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me." He explained, speaking candidly. "Why?"   
  
Tod took a deep breath, chewing on his bottom lip and trying to decide the best way to go about opening his mouth. "I was just wondering because I wanted to make sure that you weren't going to change your mind and decide you wanted to go out with Clear because..." He trailed off, hoping Alex would take the hint and not force him to utter the continuing words.   
  
Luckily, Alex knew exactly what his friend and getting out and a confused but slightly happy smile spread across his face. "You like Clear?" He asked, finishing the sentence for his friend. "If you liked Clear, why did you keep trying to get us together?"   
  
The only thing Tod could do was shrug, honestly not sure of that fact himself. "Well, I didn't really realize that I liked her until just recently but it's hard not to...I mean, she's pretty, funny, a little weird sure but who isn't? And, she can hold her ground against Carter Horton." He hadn't really meant for all those things to come out of his mouth but once he had spoken, he knew he trusted Alex not to repeat any of that stuff.   
  
Alex rolled his eyes. "Geez Wagner, you're going make me vomit." He mumbled, shaking his head. "If you like her so much, why don't you ask her out?" It was a question Tod had been asking himself a lot in the past hour.   
  
"Well, I think that I might but I wanted to make sure that it was okay with you first. Plus, I'm not even sure she'd want to go with me; she's head over heels in love with you." Tod pointed out glumly, frowning.  
  
Alex frowned as well, shaking his head once again. "No, I think you're exaggerating." He mumbled, though he wasn't so sure. Inwardly, he didn't doubt what his friend was saying but he wasn't exactly ready to admit that to himself; knowing that Clear was madly in love with him would only make him feel guilty about going out with Adrienne. And he had suffered enough in his school-life to feel guilty about a good thing.   
  
"Trust me, I'm not, I know these things...she told me." Tod assured him, raising an eyebrow. He worried that Clear wouldn't return his affections because she was in love with Alex or that she would go with him for all the wrong reasons, like using him as a way to get closer to Alex.   
  
Alex wished he could say something incredibly reassuring to his friend but all he could find to say was, "Well maybe when she realizes that someone actually likes her, she'll forget all about me."   
  
Tod seemed to lighten up a bit with those words, though he wasn't quite sure how true they would be. "I'll ask her if she wants to go to the movies." He decided, nodding his once to finalize his words.   
  
"Well, just make sure you don't ask her to go on Friday night because that's when Adrienne and I are going out. I don't think it would be a good idea to get the two of them together." Alex told his friend, leaving out the 'and me in the middle' part that seemed so important. Clear looked like she could kick serious ass if she put her mind to it and he wasn't really in the mood to test out his theory.   
  
Tod nodded for the second time in so many minutes but inwardly, a plan was forming. 


	12. Proposition

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Okay, so thanks for all the reviews, I really, really love you guys! I'm glad my story is such a success, it makes me so proud. Fear not, there will be a sequel, hopefully started as soon as this story is finished. Enough of this small talk, here's another chapter and thanks for the reviews!  
  
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Chapter Twelve   
  
A Proposition   
  
Tod had spent most of the night and a good deal of the morning practicing what to say to Clear in front of the mirror. He had ditched most of the ideas and had only come up with, "So Clear, I know you like my friend but I like you so do you want to go out sometime?" At different points in time it had sounded good but he wasn't so sure that Clear was going to think so or even agree to go anywhere with him.   
  
But the time had come to once again go to Mount Abraham High and face Clear; he considered not even asking her but he realized that he liked her too much to just sit back and watch her pine away over Alex. Maybe his friend was right, maybe she would ditch her 'crush' when she realized that someone else liked her.   
  
Tod was in the middle of practicing a more improved 'speech' when George shouted from downstairs that he'd better hurry up or be late. With a sigh, the younger Wagner left the bathroom, grabbed his backpack and followed his brother out the door toward their father's station wagon.   
  
* * *   
  
Clear had managed to remain unreachable until the now dreaded fourth period rolled around, plunging in right in the middle of Alex and Tod, as well as in the same room as Carter and Adrienne. She considered dropping out of French (though she was now getting used to the language) or perhaps even jumping out of the second story window to get away from Alex and his girlfriend but she wasn't ready to do something quite so drastic.   
  
Regardless of those ideas, Clear trudged into fourth period and ignored Alex and Adrienne, who were chatting by the blonde's desk and took her seat in the back of the classroom, trying to ignore the way that Tod was smiling at her, attempting to catch her attention.   
  
"Clear," Tod finally said, getting her attention verbally, "can I talk to you for a second?" He sounded rather nervous, almost like he regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth.   
  
For the first time since he had left Alex's house the night before, Tod found himself feeling very nervous; it was one thing to practice in front of his own reflection but it was quite another to actually talk to the girl on the receiving end of his date proposal.   
  
Clear looked up at him, cocking her head slightly. "What?" She asked, making it obvious that she wasn't in the mood to talk, about anything. She figured something about Alex or Adrienne was about to come out of Tod's mouth and she mentally steeled herself against his words, putting on her 'whatever' exterior.   
  
Looking at Clear just then caused Tod's heart to freeze and his breath to catch in his throat; his feelings for Clear were partially to blame for his paralysis but he was also afraid of rejection, of what she might do as soon as he spoke to her. Unable to think of anything else to do, he willed himself to continue speaking, though he wasn't quite sure what was going to come out of his mouth. "Listen, this might sound really strange but I know Alex and Adrienne are going to the movies Friday night and...spy on them." Tod muttered, eyes going wide when he realized what he had just said. 'Where in the hell did that come from?' He questioned mentally, seconds away from slapping his forehead with an open palm.   
  
Clear stared at him, confused, eye brows raised, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Spy on them?" She repeated, sounded more confused then anything else, which Tod took as a good sign.   
  
'Okay Wagner, you have two seconds to turn this into something good,' He prompted himself mentally, taking a deep breath. "Okay, that didn't come out right but...yes, spy. You could see that Alex really doesn't care about Adrienne." Tod explained, trying to figure out exactly where those words were coming from. He hadn't meant to say any of those things! 'But I do care about you,' He willed his mouth to say but no words would come past his lips.   
  
Still, Clear looked incredibly confused, mentally attempting to sort out Tod's words. Did he really think that she was so into causing herself mental pain that she would go to the movies to watch Alex on a date with someone else? She been through enough lately, she didn't need the added visuals; she was doing a pretty good job of torturing herself with her own mental pictures. She didn't need the solid facts. "What are you talking about?" Clear asked instead, feeling as though that wasn't exactly what Tod was trying to tell her.   
  
"I know if sounds weird but think about it...I'll even go with you, so it doesn't look like you're spying." Tod offered, knowing that was the first thing he'd almost done right in the two minutes that had passed since the conversation had started.   
  
At his latest words, Clear felt more confused then she had before. "Wait a second... are you asking me to go out with you?" She questioned, cocking her head like a confused puppy dog. Perhaps that was why Tod had looked so nervous and had spoken like he was half-delirious.   
  
Tod's face first paled, then his cheeks turned a soft pink with embarrassment and he quickly shook his head, though all he wanted to do was agree with Clear's words. "No, no...that's not what I'm saying..." He stuttered nervously, feeling a wave of humiliation sweep over him. He should have known that asking Clear out was a very bad idea but his heart had gotten the better of him and forced him to open his mouth.   
  
Clear frowned. "Then what are you saying?" She asked him, trying to decide if she thought it was such a bad idea for Tod to be asking her out. It was true that she 'loved' Alex but the thought of spending a little time with Tod didn't seem like a bad thing either. She had really gotten to like him, and his charming wit, his sheepish smile, over the past few days and almost brightened slightly at the idea of getting to know him a little better. But, of course, she would never admit these things out loud.   
  
Tod seemed to have regained himself for the time being and answered, "A little recon at the movies, you and me, to make it look less obvious." He paused, waiting to see what Clear would say and when she didn't say anything right away he continued, "Just think about it." He finished the conversation by copying his phone number down on a sheet of paper and handed it to her.   
  
Clear stuck the paper in her pocket and remained silent.   
  
* * *   
  
Was she really that pathetic? Honestly?   
  
Yes, she was.   
  
Clear wasn't exactly proud of herself when she decided to take Tod up on his proposal of 'spying' on Alex at the movies but she dialed the Wagner's number none the less, telling herself that she was going to let it ring four times and then hang up.   
  
On the fourth ring, just as she was preparing to disconnect, the phone was answered by Tod's older brother. "Um...can I speak to Tod please?" Clear asked, seriously considering hanging up right that second. Her brain, however, didn't register that idea and forced her to speak.   
  
"Sure, one minute." George muttered, taking his lips away from the mouth piece and shouting, "Tod, phone! It's a girl!"   
  
His words made Clear blush and she was happy that she wouldn't actually have to see Tod in the seconds that followed. She waited for no more then a minute before Tod's voice came over the phone, telling George to mind his own business in the other room before greeting her. "Hi Clear."   
  
"How did you know it was me?" She questioned, knitting her eyebrows even though she knew that Tod couldn't see her.   
  
"As sad as this sounds, I figured you would be the only girl to call my house, looking for me." Tod explained, adding sheepishly, "Besides my mother."   
  
Suppressing a laugh, Clear shook her head comically, another gesture blind to the boy on the other line. "Look, are you still up to going to the movies on Friday?" She asked, still trying to convince herself that she was out of her mind.   
  
"Yeah, of course." Tod answered quickly, seeming to brighten slightly.   
  
Clear took a deep breath, knowing she had this one last chance to back out. Instead she said, "Then count me in." 


	13. If I Fall

Chapter Thirteen   
  
If I Fall   
  
Thursday passed in a blind blur filled with details and events that Clear couldn't remember if she wanted to. All that she was truly aware of was that Thursday was the day before Friday and it was Friday that her movie outing with Tod was set to happen. She wouldn't allow herself to call it a date, even in her head and as she sat in French class that fateful Friday she found herself unable to concentrate on a single thing that her teacher was saying. Not that she ever really paid attention or fully grasped half of what he said but today her mind wasn't even half listening to the words spilling from the balding man's mouth. She stared blankly ahead of her, staring into the back of Alex's head, looking at Tod out of the corner of her eye as well, watching the way he tried to listen to the teacher and every time he didn't understand the man's words (which was often) his eyebrows would knit and he'd bite his bottom lip. Clear wondered if he knew he was doing this and instantly, a shocking revelation happened upon her. She had been spending more time paying attention to Tod and watching him then she did watching Alex, who was the true object of her affections...wasn't he?   
  
This confusing thought caused Clear to wrinkle her own forehead, taking her gaze away from Tod and Alex and staring at the surface of her desk, trying to sort everything out. Of course she liked Alex, more then liked but this wasn't the first time she had caught herself thinking more about his friend. Was it possible that she was developing a crush on Tod and moving past her infatuation with Alex?   
  
With as much conviction as she could muster, Clear shook her head and pushed those thoughts away. She managed to block them from her mind for the rest of the period, forcing herself to concentrate on French language and ignore the fact that the day was quickly dwindling.   
  
* * *   
  
For the second time that week, Clear found herself concentrating immensely on the contents of her closet, trying to decide what to wear for the upcoming hours. It was getting harder and harder not to think of the trip to the movies as a 'date' and she was pressing her brain to come up with other titles for the event. As of lately she had taken to calling it only by the amount of time that remained until she was due to meet Tod at the theatre. At that current moment, only thirty minutes and she still hadn't decided what to wear.   
  
Clear wasn't sure if she wanted to look better for Alex or for Tod. "Rivers, this is stupid." She mumbled to herself, grabbing a pair of jeans, scrutinizing them before tossing them over her shoulder into the already growing pile of rejected clothes. "Of course you like Alex." She didn't know if she was speaking out loud to help convince herself but she realized that it wasn't quite working.   
  
With a deep sigh, Clear stepped away from the closet and turned to regard the mirror, set atop her dresser, squinting her eyes at her reflection. She continued to stare silently, as though she was waiting for the mirror image of herself to explain why she was thinking more about Tod and why every time she pictured his goofy smile she got butterflies in her stomach. The reflection was silent and she once again sighed, turning away from the mirror and staring ahead into the cream-colored, blank wall before her.   
  
Sure she liked Alex but Clear realized that it was more of a 'love at first sight' type of thing; what she felt when she thought about Tod was different. She thought about his smile, the way he always made her laugh and the way he had seen that she was hurting when Alex had simply ignored her.   
  
What surprised Clear more was that she realized that she completely horrified at the idea that she was slowly falling in love with Tod Wagner.   
  
* * *   
  
When Tod heard the shrill ring of the downstairs phone, he knew, deep in his heart, that it was Clear calling. Even deeper, he felt like he knew that she was calling to cancel their date. 'Not really a date, she doesn't even know that you like' he reminded himself with growing misery, staring down at the single red rose that lay on the top of his dresser. He had gotten it for Clear but was still debating whether or not to give it to her.   
  
"Tod, it's for you." His mother called from downstairs, unaware that she was twisting the knife in her son's heart. Slowly, Tod left his room and headed downstairs, taking the phone from his mother.   
  
"Hello?" He answered, knowing exactly who's voice he was going to hear on the connecting line.   
  
There was a pause, but not a long one, before Clear's semi-panicked voice sounded over the silence. "Tod? I can't do this...what was I thinking? Going to the theatre to spy on Alex? I'm out of my mind...I can't go." Her words came out in a rush, as though she were speaking them simply to make sure they were said.   
  
Tod took a deep breathe, already working out words in his mind to convince Clear to go with him; it was no secret that he had been waiting for the upcoming date ever since he realized that he liked Clear and it also wasn't a secret that his heart was breaking at the thought of being able to go out with the lovely brunette. "Clear, calm down and breathe." He smiled slightly when the sound of Clear inhaling and slowly exhaling filled his ear. "It's not a big deal, you're not crazy and it'll be fun." Tod said, knowing that it wasn't exactly genius but perhaps it work well enough to convince the nervous brunette.   
  
The line was silent once again, this pause much longer then the first. "You don't understand Tod...going to that theatre and seeing Alex and Adrienne...I'm only going to humiliate myself. I've had enough humiliation and heartbreak in my life to know that I don't need to force myself to experience anymore. Call it a...metaphorical fear of falling." Clear's words were much more carefully chosen this time, spoken slower.   
  
Tod could sense the truth behind Clear's words, could see the heartache in her eyes every time he looked into them. Though he loathed to perhaps cause her anymore, but he reminded himself that he had the chance to get rid of some of the pain that he saw, had the chance to make her happy. "Don't worry, Clear, if you fall...I'll catch you. Metaphorically of course." He assured her.   
  
A long while passed before Clear finally answered, voice wavering, agreeing to meet him at the theatre in twenty minutes. 


	14. Head Over Feet

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Okay, so, thanks to Dharke for her hilarious reviews, they made me laugh. There are about three chapters left in this story but I'm going to write a sequel. And in reference to Dharke wanting Clear to whack Alex with a piece of wood...sorry but I don't think I can fit that in. Maybe some other story. :) And, sorry if the story is sappy and too romantic and all of that crap but, hey, I'm fifteen and single and that gives me the right to be romantic and sappy. It's pathetic, I know, but it's a fact. And, go read ScribbleDribble's stories, they are very funny...good stuff. On with the story!   
  
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Chapter Fourteen   
  
Head Over Feet   
  
Tod was already at the movie theatre when Clear arrived, leaning against the wall and looking slightly uncomfortable. The movie theatre was crowded, packed with teenage couples, more interested in necking then actually seeing the movie of their choice. When he finally saw the brunette, Tod brightened slightly and headed her way, looking her over once from top to bottom. She was wearing slightly baggy jeans, the bottoms falling over the heels of her sneakers; her shirt was sleeveless, despite the chill in the air and her long brown hair was braided into the front. Tod wished that he had decided to bring the rose after all.   
  
Clear smiled, looking slightly embarrassed and even more nervous. "Sorry, I'm late." She apologized, causing Tod to shake his.   
  
"You're not late, I'm just early." He explained, fishing around in his pocket for the pair of tickets that he had already purchased. He handed one ticket to Clear and the two of them entered the bustling moving theatre, pushing their way through the crowd.   
  
Clear declined Tod's offer to buy her popcorn or any other movie snack, knowing that she was too nervous to eat. As she waited in line beside Tod, who was ordering a drink, she scanned the area for Alex, part of her hoping that she wouldn't see him. She wondered if Tod had bought tickets to the same movie that Alex and Adrienne were going to and figured that he had; that was, after all the reason they were there in the first place. The same part of her that hoped that she didn't see Alex was also the same part of her not reminded her not to care about him any longer. Alex had a girlfriend, and it wasn't her, so she needed to just let it go; Tod liked her, after all, and she was beginning to like him as well. But there was still the part of her that loved Alex, a part of her that wouldn't die in a matter of days.   
  
Luckily, the room where their movie was showing was packed, so Clear hoped that Alex wouldn't notice that she was there. She could tell that Tod was hoping the same thing, which only confirmed her suspicions that spying on Alex was only a front. They found two seats in the back of the theatre, directly across from the exit.   
  
Clear shifted uncomfortably in her seat, eyes scanning the theatre for Alex without really meaning to. Finally, she spotted the back of his head; she wasn't surprised to see a blonde head right beside his. It was obvious that Adrienne was relating some dry tale to the boy beside her, by the way that her head was bobbing every once and a while. She wrinkled her nose slightly, attempting to force down the jealously that she felt when she looked at Alex and Adrienne together. It wasn't right, she was out with Tod, she needed to let Alex go.   
  
Tod followed her line of sigh and looked, noticing who the brunette was looking at. He felt a pang of jealousy as well, but for complete different reasons; he was jealous of Alex for being able to command so much of Clear's attention without wanting it, for being the only person that Clear most often thought about. Tod wished that it was he that Clear was thinking about at that moment, but said none of these thoughts out loud. As far as Clear was concerned, they were just two 'friends' at the movies on a Friday night, doing a little 'recon'.   
  
The lights dimmed and Clear finally managed to tear her gaze away from Alex's direction, turning instead to look at Tod, who was watching her out of the corner of his eye. She offered him a weak smile, feeling guilty for not having said a word to him since they had sat down. Pursing her lips, Clear finally gave him all of her attention, preparing to ask him a question that had been burning on her brain lately. "Tod, this isn't really about spying on Alex is it? This whole night." She asked, expression begging for an honest answer.   
  
Tod looked surprised at her question, turning to face the brunette. He considered lying to her, sticking with the story he had fabricated but the expression on Clear's face suggested that she wouldn't buy it anyway. "No, it's not; I don't why I started that whole thing...I mean, it didn't even seem like a good idea at the time. But, I knew that you liked Alex and I really didn't think that you would go out with me if I asked." He confessed, feeling his cheeks get slightly red. He hadn't counted on confessing his feelings to the brunette, at least, not tonight and he found himself embarrassed all over again.   
  
Clear's cheeks also grew slightly red, and she was thankful for the dim light; she'd thought that maybe Tod had asked her out because he liked her a little, but she hadn't counted on him baring his soul to her. "Tod I..." She trailed off, not quite she what to say. After all, he was probably right, she probably wouldn't have accepted a date invitation from him.   
  
"But I really like you Clear, I think your pretty and, maybe, a little quiet...I figured I had to try and get you to go out with me. Even if it was by using some lame-ass excuse." Tod finished, unable to finish speaking once he had started.   
  
Clear took in his words, slightly surprised and even more touched; he was the first boy, first person really, that told her that she was pretty. That was why she didn't resist when Tod leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips.   
  
* * *   
  
Alex rolled his eyes, staring blankly ahead at the coming attractions on the movie screen, hoping that Adrienne would take the hint and shut up about what Terry Chaney had said at cheerleading practice. But the blonde kept on talking, mouth going a hundred miles on hour. "And then Terry told Shelby Masters, you know Shelby, the girl that thinks she's cool because her daddy has a lot of money? Anyway Terry told her that-" Adrienne rambled, silenced only when Alex stood up. "Where are you going?" She asked.   
  
Alex looked down at her, surprised that she had even that he was there. "I'm going to get a drink." He mumbled, pushing past the people that were seated beside Adrienne, unable to over-look the fact that they all looked slightly relieved that his date had finally shut up.   
  
He started up the aisle, trying to calculate how long he could be gone and still have a good excuse. 'Long line' would only work for the first ten minutes or so. Maybe Adrienne wouldn't even remember that he had left and thus, wouldn't remember how long he'd been gone.   
  
As Alex neared the exit, he noticed a couple sharing a kiss and wished that Adrienne would shut up long enough for him to kiss her...at least once. Hell, he'd actually be happy if she just shut up. He did a double-take when he thought he recognized one half of the couple and a closer look revealed that he knew both halves. Tod and Clear were sharing a gentle, but none the less passionate kiss; at first, Alex felt like he was intruding upon a private moment.  
  
He was surprised by the next emotion that he felt. He felt slightly that his best friend was kissing Clear and, surprised, wanted to attribute it to the fact that he was out on a date with a beautiful girl that he wouldn't get to kiss because she was more interested in talking about bimbo Terry Chaney. That was, after all, all that his jealous feeling was...wasn't it? He didn't like Clear, after all, and he had encouraged his friend to take her out.   
  
But as he left the crowded room, he couldn't help but wonder.   
  
* * *   
  
When the kiss finally ended, Clear found herself feeling slightly disappointed. She had wanted the kiss to go on forever, as cliche as that sounded. She offered Tod a slightly embarrassed but none the less happy smile, which he returned, intertwining their fingers together.   
  
All thoughts of Alex Browning had vanished and now Clear thought only of Tod. She was falling in love, completely head over feet with the boy sitting beside her. And for the first time in a while, Clear realized that she was happy.   
  
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Okay, so, anti-climatic...maybe. But I wanted Clear to end up happy; I figured she deserved that before her life turns to crap. Remember, I am still a huge Alex and Clear fan so...look out in the sequel everyone...ooh, exciting. Not really. Just a little note, the character of Adrienne is based on a blonde bitch I know from my school who stole away *my* Alex...is my teenage-singleness showing again? Sorry about that little outburst...please read the epilogue, more notes there! 


	15. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
When the night was over, Clear honestly regretted it. She hated having to leave and return to her grand-parents house, to a room that wasn't hers, to a family that wasn't hers. She felt like Tod was hers...the first thing that she could all her own since her father had died and her family life had been shattered.   
  
Clear quietly slipped into the house, knowing that her grandparents were surely already asleep, stepping up the creaky stairs as silently as she could. She locked the door behind her and dropped onto her bed, a big smile upon her face. As she lay, staring at the ceiling, she thought about how her date with Tod had ended and how she hadn't thought about Alex the entire night.   
  
But now, here she was, thinking about him again. She wondered if she would have been as happy with Alex, honestly unsure of what the answer would be. What she did know was that she was happy with Tod, and that was all that mattered. She got the same fluttery feeling when she looked at him as she did when she had first seen Alex. Clear remembered sitting in the registration office, wondering if her life could possibly get any worse; she remembered her breathe catching in her throat when Alex had first walked into the room.   
  
She had gotten the same feeling when Tod had kissed her, though it was magnified, with far more feeling. She had never felt like this before, but she didn't dwell on those thoughts. Moving to Mt. Abraham was beginning to prove to be a blessing in disguise.   
  
Clear stood up, changed into her pajamas and pulled down the covers. Slipping into bed, she realized that she finally understood what people meant when they said that there were plenty of other fish in the ocean. Tod had been her other fish. 'Of all the fishes in the sea, they could not be happier then me,' Clear thought with a slight smile, turning on her side and burying her head against her pillow.   
  
As Clear finally drifted off to sleep, she realized that the best part of waking up would be getting to see Tod again. He was someone she truly didn't think she could get enough of.   
  
For once, life was good for Clear Rivers.   
  
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Okay, so, the story is over and it's actually really sad. I go through this every time I finish a long story, the feeling that it's all over; almost like the feeling you get when the school year is over. I mean, after the feeling of pure, unadulterated joy. But, enough of that sappy stuff, I have some notes to add.   
  
1. There will be a sequel, fear not, it is coming. But, depending on how fast I get reviews for these last two updates will determine how quickly the sequel is posted. Until then, please read my other Final Destination story "Reaper" or any other fics I have posted.   
  
2. This story is for my friends (what little of them I have left) and for my own Alex Browning (Austin, who will never read this I'm sure) and for my favorite ff.net writer ScribbleDribble. And for everyone who has read this story and reviewed!   
  
3. I wanted to come back to the "Why Can't I?" song by Liz Fhair, so a lot of words in the epilogue or from that song. "Head Over Feet" from the last chapter belongs to Alanis Moresett (sorry if I misspelled her name) and the line about fishes in the sea is from the song "Fragile Heart" by Jewel  
  
Well, that's about it. Thanks again for reading it, I hope everyone enjoyed the story. I love everyone who reviewed! Until next time.... 


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